With our without kids? | The Family Without Borders

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Warsaw (Poland); Im Hotel ohne Kinder; Photo: Anna Alboth

– So you were travelling for those weeks or months with kids?? – No, without – we like to answer. And you know that people are not always surprised?

We travel with our kids. To far away places and for long. Not because we have to, but because we like it. It’s hard for me to imagine going to some amazing place and experiencing the place and people, without them.

Some people tell me that they cannot rest and relax, when they are with their kids. That they go to abroad and for holiday only with husband or wife. What can I say? I feel a bit sorry for them, and it feels like something went wrong, no? That they treat themselves way better, giving themselves an opportunity for a new, exotic experience, taking it away from their kids. Feels a bit egoistic for me, if you ask me for my opinion. (Just to make it clear: I don’t count here the opportunities, which you can take, only alone or only as adults; I was last year alone in not safe time in Palestine, Tom was last year at some photo-workshop in Burma for example).

BUUUUT I also think that both sides: parents and kids too, have a right to rest from each other a bit. So I’m absolutely not against spending some shorter time just in two, while organising time for your kids with grandparents or friends.

Berlin (Germany); In the photo exhibition; Photo: Thomas Alboth; thefamilywithoutborders.com
Berlin (Germany); In the photo exhibition without kids

Once we were talking with Tom about us being parents. What do we miss from the times before we had kids. And you know what? We miss, a bit and sometimes, only one thing: the ability of being totally spontaneous. This crazy taking decision when drinking morning coffee and being in the car in 10 minutes. Those changes of plans, because we just felt like this or that. We have freedom of doing what we want and like, we can travel, we can party, we can go to watch a photo exhibition. But it needs a bit of logistics. That girls are not hungry, not tired, or that they stay with somebody in the evening. Not a problem, we have lovely people around us. Just can’t be decided in one second.

Since we realised it, we are trying to give each other as much as we can of this package of “freedom+spontaneousness“. When I’m in Warsaw and I call Tom to tell that there is this festival in Cracow tonight and if it will be a problem that I come back some 20 hours later, he is of course not very happy but he will say: go. When he is biking with a friend and said he will be back in 3 hours and then call to say how cool is it to drive around the lakes, I’m also not super happy not to have him for next 5 hours, but I will tell: go and bike more. Because this will make him happy.

And what will make us both happy, can be having this „freedom+spontaneousness“ together. And thanks to my mum or our friends, sometimes we do have. And then we understand that „childless“ can be sometimes „childfree“ and how nice is it to be for a moment only a woman, not a „mummy“, and having with your your man, not „pappi“.

Wish you a lovely time with and without kids! Such a Sunday message! ;)

(for example like we had yesterday in Berlin or two weeks ago in Warsaw:

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This post is also available in: German Polish


Our first book is out!

We have published our first book (for now just in Polish:) about our Central America Trip.
See, read and order here »

8 Comments

  • ewa
    Posted January 19, 2014 at 20:32 | Permalink

    a gdzie jest taki basen? :)

    Reply
    • Anna Alboth
      Posted January 19, 2014 at 20:41 | Permalink

      żeby nie było reklamy, ale i tak da się łatwo sprawdzić: w budynku hotelu intercontinental, na 43 piętrze

      Reply
  • Bo
    Posted January 19, 2014 at 21:22 | Permalink

    Podoba mi się Twoja dzisiejsza notatka, a to dlatego, że my też wszędzie zabieramy naszą 6cio -latkę. Nie podróżujemy w tak odległe zakątki jak Wasza rodzina, ale staramy się często i choć na kilka dni, głównie w góry. Sprawa się trochę skomplikowała ( tylko dla mnie ;-) ), bo w listopadzie na świecie pojawił się nowy członek naszej rodzinki. No i nie wiem, czy fakt, że już jestem trochę starsza, czy to, że to chłopiec ( synuś mamusi), ale zaplanowany wyjazd w góry w lutym napawa mnie przerażeniem ;-) Czy nigdy nie miałaś obaw Anno, przed podróżą gdy Twoje dziewczynki były maleńkie? Pozdrawiam.
    P/S: również uważam, że rodzicom należy się czasem chwila bez dzieci, po to by pielęgnować namiętność i fascynację jaka ich połączyła zanim zostali ‘rodzicami’ ;-)

    Reply
    • Anna Alboth
      Posted January 20, 2014 at 10:35 | Permalink

      Chyba nie miałam obaw, ale to też dlatego, że zawsze wszędzie nas ciągnęło i trochę stanęlibyśmy na głowie, żeby się wyrwać i pokazać dziewczynom świat. Poza tym, myślę, że jeśli to się robi często i od w miarę początku – to jest łatwiej (bo dziecko też się przyzwyczaja). Nic się nie martw, już góry przerabialiście, a 6-latka też już na tyle duża, że może trochę pomóc, nie? Jak Hania miała 4 miesiące lataliśmy już do Włoch i Belgii, na krótkie wypady. Moim zdaniem to im mniejsze, tym łatwiej się ruszyć :)

      Reply
  • Posted January 20, 2014 at 14:22 | Permalink

    Dawaj ten tekst po polskku, bo wielu osobom by się przydał!
    Ważne jest by być ze sobą, a nie mieć kogoś dla siebie. Ważne by rozumieć:)

    Reply
  • Posted January 21, 2014 at 14:47 | Permalink

    Moi rodzice wlasnie tak robili – jechali beze mnie i siostry na wakacje. Z jednej strony, rozumiem ze chcieli odpoczac, z drugiej mysle, ze bylo to niesprawiedliwe.
    Gdybym miala dzieci, na pewno bralabym je ze soba wszedzie.

    Swietne zdjecia!!

    Reply
    • Anna Alboth
      Posted January 23, 2014 at 09:16 | Permalink

      Wszędzie, no albo prawie wszędzie! Pozdrowienia!

      Reply

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